This is why I don’t Bungee Jump.

I found this diagram in the ladies bathroom at church.  I attend an international church.  I don’t mean a church full of Americans who are living overseas. I mean International. All continents, yes except Antarctica, pagan penguins, are represented by more than one family. 

Sunday is a thrill. The cultural mix makes for some interesting dynamics, some painful misunderstandings, some great potlucks. And obviously some great signage.

Some in the church want each person to wear a nametag.  I can see the advantage to this, I mean I meet another Patricia, I am good.  A few repeats and I have it.  But I have some friends that I don’t think I will ever get their name right, even if it was staring me in the face. How do you write a click? We don’t have anyone with a name with a click though. I think I would work on getting that name right, just for the linguistic challenge.

Back to the sign.  I don’t use that bathroom usually. There is a main one on another level.  I did some research.  I sent my son in the men’s room and the same sign appears in there.  Apparently it isn’t a female thing. There’s no sign in the main bathroom. 

Which brings me back to Bungee Jumping.  You see, I think it is done for the thrill. But I look at the person in this picture and think, “That is living dangerously,” especially in Europe, because of our toilet issues. (Notice that I didn’t say problem, this is I guess a sign that our generation is more tolerant. We say, “issue” which means, “problem.”)

Toilet Issue Number One. Toilet seats have a larger penchant here to wander.  This means you sit down facing north, and you may end up facing east. Now if you are really lucky, you will still be facing north. But of course there is the chance that you may be facing up.  I don’t know what it is, but there is an inordinately large percentage of toilet seats that can’t seem to be tightened down. This means that even a basic function requires some caution. (My daughter pointed out that American public toilet seats are horse shoe shaped but we can’t figure out why.)

The second cause for pause, is that most commodes in Austria, Hungary, Germany and a few in Slovakia are demonstrative.  Many have tried to describe the phenomena.  Specimen potties, Display Toilets,  How-Healthy-is-your-

Digestive-System Throne.  For those of you who have been blessed with ignorance, let me explain.  American toilets have a bowl full of water.  Other toilets have a bowl without water, just a flusher. And here, instead of a bowl, we have a shelf and the water flushes. I really can’t be more descriptive. Look it up, the internet probably has a picture. I also have speculated as to what makes a culture think this is a good idea but I won’t do it publicly.  Suffice it to say that I wouldn’t adopt the position in the picture over this area’s toilets.

Some people need Bungee Jumping to give them their thrills. Perhaps others take a unique stand doing their business. I just go to church and enjoy that thrill.